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Submitted on
February 11, 2013
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Red Alert by AbandonedZone Red Alert by AbandonedZone
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ABANDONED ZONE
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:iconbastaartworks:
Disclaimer: the is my first critique ever, so any critique on the critique will be welcome :)

First off, I like this piece a lot. the feeling of loneliness and abandonment mixed with a twinge of loss just jumps off the screen. capitalizing on the peeling paint, the dirt on the floor and the torn up ceiling also helps to give a sense of time, this building was not abandoned very recently.

The gas mask is a crucial part of the composition, telling the viewer there were once people here and that something terrible may have happened.
placing it front and center though gives it a slightly staged look, this look is also fortified by the mask laying right side up as if placed there gently. putting the mask slightly further and a little more ruffled up, maybe upside-down, would give a more dynamic feel to the scene as if it was dropped on the rush out of the building. Adding another artifact of a more personal nature would also strengthen the sense of loss (a shoe, a teddy bear - these are cliche but along those lines).

The exaggerated proportions convey an eeriness and a sense that the building is vast and there's more to explore which is fantastic.
I think reversing the lighting - having the far off part of the corridor darker and the closer part lit - would enhance the feeling of mystery and fear of the unknown down the line. On the other hand will serve to provide a slight spark of hope, since we cant see what down there maybe its not as abandoned as we think. this fear and hope duality, which is there to begin with (my suggestions are only meant to enhance them) has a very powerful grip.

all that being said, this is a powerful scene playing on a vast range of emotions which is probably the best thing that i can say about a photo.

hope you found this critique fair and maybe even helpful.
just my two cents.
What do you think?
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8 out of 8 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconmichaeldavitt:
Michaeldavitt Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Professional Writer
terrific  as you move down the hall into perspective
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:iconredbaron351:
RedBaron351 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013
Awesome shot! keep that gas mask, you may need it for WW3.
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:iconpapermasa:
papermasa Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
So awesome! I'm currently playing "The Method Works" from the movie soundtrack, Perfume and it really adds drama to this!
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:iconninjagirl86:
ninjagirl86 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
where were you at? was the gas mask there to begin with?
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:iconsphi-ii:
Sphi-II Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is terrifying, especially with the addition of the mask in the foreground. I love it!
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:icongreysonrose:
GreysonRose Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Professional Photographer
great shot!
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:iconabandonedzone:
AbandonedZone Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013
:bow:
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:icongreenshadow23:
GreenShadow23 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013   Photographer
Another great photo :)
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:iconabandonedzone:
AbandonedZone Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013
Thank You !
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:iconskrillgirl:
Skrillgirl Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Your an amazing photographer
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